Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sunday Salon 1.31.10

I have been missing posting on my blog and visiting other blogs. I'm going to try and get back to posting again. And I have some book reviews that are almost completed although I haven't looked at them for a while. Hopefully I still remember the books so I can finish the reviews!

The "family emergency" I addressed the last time I posted is on going and I am still coping with it. That is mainly because it's about me. I'm alone here now because my husband was arrested, something that is very difficult to admit and embarrassing. But it is what it is. There's more to the situation but the bottom line is that I am alone now and have to figure out what I'm going to do. I am a 42-year old woman and I am disabled with a rare bone and endocrine disease and several lung conditions including pulmonary hypertension and asthma. One of the symptoms/side effects of the bone disease is chronic pain and I am also on oxygen 24 hours a day because of the pulmonary hypertension. The progression of one condition and a new diagnosis meant I had to stop working in 2001. Six months later I started receiving social security disability (SSD) once a month. I don’t have any other money besides the $1065.00 I now get monthly from SSD. I have been spending most of my time this past month researching and making phone calls to find out what kind of assistance I can get with paying my rent, food, etc. As far as public assistance goes, I am entitled to about $31 in food stamps every month. That’s it.

It’s difficult to stay focused some days. I feel useless, embarrassed and ashamed sometimes. I especially feel this way when I call places like social services and the person on the other end of the phone tells me I get a lot of money and sounds bored or annoyed with talking to me.. When I ask them how I’m supposed to pay my rent and support my self on $1,000 a month they just say “I don’t know”. There really isn't much in the way of resources for people in situations like mine. I see many websites that promote the independence of the disabled or "talk" about the independence of the disabled but there doesn't seem to be a lot of actual, tangible assistance to make independence a reality for people like me. I am not finished looking for assistance, making phone calls, writing letters etc. but so far it seems that to have adequate shelter, food, clothing etc. I have to be dependant on family which I don't have or married or independently wealthy?!! It's frustrating and humiliating.

I am willing to work, too. I haven't worked in nine years. And I have to bring my wheelchair to work, at least 4 oxygen canisters to make sure I have enough for the day, my medications and I would have to take Access-a-Ride to a job and back which can be an interesting experience! Working from home would be great but many of the opportunities are scams. These days I wish I had become a journalist or a writer instead of an attorney because I could be writing freelance or something like that!. I don't have a license to practice law now because to practice law in NY, a person has to take (expensive) continuing legal education classes to keep their law license in good standing. But I can assist an attorney, conduct research for a brief or something like that.

I am concerned about the cats. I don't want to have to find homes for even some of them although I am beginning to think I might have to. It's difficult for me to take care of so many of them by myself and they eat a lot! I love them all and feel for them. More than a few of them really missed my husband and it took them a few weeks to adjust. If I have to find a new place for some of them, I want it to be a nice new home. It keeps me up at night thinking I might have to call Animal Care & Control.

Despite all the distractions I have been reading a little bit. Some days I can't concentrate, some days I need the distraction. I was fortunate to receive
Eternal on the Water by Joseph Monninger from Barnes & Noble's First Look program. It took me much longer to read it than it would have under normal circumstances. But I didn't want to rush the book. I'm reading a terrific book Cowboy & Wills by Monica Holloway and just started One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni.

So that’s my story at the moment. I hope my post doesn't scare anyone away It's just what my life is about right now. If anyone has any advice, ideas or jokes, please share!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Brief Hello!

I haven't been blogging for the last week or so and probably won't be for a little longer. I have a family emergency of sorts, one of those situations that requires some attention and monitoring and issues that need to be resolved.

I have been reading a little bit but it's difficult to focus when my mind is on a million and one other things. I so desperately want to grab one of the books I have and can't wait to read, curl up in bed with it, pull the covers over my head and use my tiny flashlight to light the words on the page - the way I read when I was a kid and supposed to be sleeping! Alas, I'm not a child and so must be responsible.

I hope to be back blogging soon. I'm going to try and visit some blogs to wave hello to you and comment on posts when I have a little time or need a distraction!

Bye for now

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Teaser Tuesday 1.05.10

Teaser Tuesdays is a very fun, weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB at Should Be Reading.

My Teaser:

' "This is our song," she said against my chest. "Whatever comes on, we have to remember it forever."
"What is it?" I asked when it started.
"I have no idea," she said.
I laughed and said, "I've missed you. Even with these lovely people, I've missed you." '

Eternal on the Water by Joseph Monninger (p.54)


Anyone can play along! If you'd like to participate, Just do the following:

*Grab your current read
*Open to a random page
*Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
*BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
*Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their
TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

*And, finally, don't forget to link your post to MizB's at
Should Be Reading. If you don't have a blog, simply share your "teasers" in a comment.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Sunday Salon 1.3.10

Happy New Year!
I hope you are enjoying 2010 so far! I am looking forward to my first full year of blogging. I can't believe I have been blogging for 6 months already! It's been wonderful, a little over-whelming and a lot of fun! I have "met" so many fantastic bloggers from all over the USA, Canada and over-seas! Some are book bloggers, some aren't, but all of you are terrific people I am happy to know and I look forward to getting to know better! I have learned about many terrific authors and now have a very long tbr list and several tbr piles. I am looking forward to many of the books I'm planning to read this year as well as to the books and authors as yet undiscovered for me! Spending so much time at home, particularly in the cold and bad weather can drive me a little crazy. Although I was an avid reader before I started blogging, I feel as if a whole new world or many new worlds have been opened for me. I'm not look towards the winter days ahead with any kind of concern or the slightest bit of dread. Many days, now, I actually wish I had a few more hours to read a few more chapters, visit a few more blogs, research some books and authors and email treasured friends, old and new!

I am planning to be a more organized reader this year. I didn't compile a "Best of 2009" list as so many of you did. I am still getting used to all there is to do having a blog and more specifically, a book blog. I tend to take time learning new activities and I like to take my time (if I can) becoming a part of something new especially when I hope it will be part of my life for a long time and I certainly plan to keep blogging for many years to come! I have admired the list many bloggers posted about their favorite books of the year, books they really enjoyed but weren't their favorites and lists of all of the books you've read this year. Some of you broke your lists down into categories such as hardcover vs. paperback, fiction, non-fiction, true crime, mystery and other such categories. I enjoy reading all of this posts about bloggers' year of reading and not just because I was able to add many more books to my tbr list! I am looking forward to getting more organized this year. Besides, with my memory failing to do its job well as the years pass, I need a better way to keep track of the books I read! I participated in Barnes & Nobles First Look program and last week I received Eternal on the Water by Joseph Monninger in the mail. I only strted reading it yesterday but it's quite good. I am looking forward to this group reading especially when the author joins in. I'll let you know how it goes!

I have more to tell you but it will have to wait until later or tomorrow evening (I am going to NYC tomorrow for a doctor appointment). Tonight the JETS are playing the Bengals for a play-off spot! Ack! My husband is stressed though he says he's fine. And he invited friends to come over and watch the game...without asking or telling me!! Great way to start the New Year hubbie! LOL It's a good night to have some friends come watch with us, especially if the JETS don't do well. Wish me...and them, of course! Luck!