Book Review: The Executor

Title: The Executor
Author: Jesse Kellerman
Publisher: G.P. Putnam's Sons, April 2010
Genre: Thriller
Rating: 3.0 out of 5

Summary: Things aren’t going well for Joseph Geist.
He’s broke. His graduate school advisor won’t talk to him. His girlfriend has kicked him out of her apartment, leaving him homeless and alone. It’s a tough spot for a philosopher to be in, and he’s ready to give up when an ad in the local paper catches his eye.

The ad reads: "Conversationalist wanted”.

Which sounds perfect to Joseph. After all, he’s never done anything in his life except play with words. And the elderly woman behind the ad turns out to be the ideal employer: brilliant, generous, and enchantingly old-world. Before long, Joseph has moved in with her, and has begun to feel quite comfortable in her big, beautiful house.
So comfortable, in fact, that he would do anything to stay there—forever.

From the author of The Genius, a dark parable about the choices we make, and the consequences they bring.

My Thoughts: Jesse Kellerman has written an intense and riveting story built upon an unusual and very unique premise that kept me reading well into the night, reluctant, at least initially, to put The Executor down. The lead character, Joseph Geist, is an intelligent, rational, moral, quiet and reserved, thinking and stoic character. His up-bringing was very unpleasant, rendering him unsure about himself and life in general. Getting through the day is difficult for him but he's so likeable and introspective that you find yourself rooting for him.

And then everything changes! The first two thirds of the book is unique and realistic, odd and interesting at the same time. The stage is set for an intense showdown between Joseph and his nemesis, Eric, but the book seriously disappoints when Kellerman, rather suddenly, veers off track into utter nonsense the last third of the book. It's really a shame because Kellerman created wonderful three-dimensional characters in Joseph as well as his "new" boss, Alma, her nephew, and Joseph's nemesis, Eric and Joseph's on-again, off-again girlfriend, Yasmina , who leap off the page. Therefore, when Joseph behaves in contravention to the Joseph we've come to know, this inconsistent transformation and the subsequent actions he undertakes are totally inconsistent and unbelievable.

The Executor opens when Joseph seems to have hit rock bottom. He's broke, he has no job, his girl-friend dumps him and he has no place to live. Quite by chance, he gets a job as a "conversationalist", meeting with Alma, an elderly woman, apparently having fascinating discussions about philosophy and who knows what else. Literally. Kellerman doesn't let us in on any of the conversations, only saying that they are stimulating and seem to keep both Alma and Joseph going, giving Alma a reason to keep living despite her ill health, and Joseph despite his struggles with relationships and school.

As one who has studied philosophy, not to mention any reader who at some point in their lives has contemplated the "big" questions, it's a major letdown never being privy to any of these discussions. I found myself frustrated and crying out for just a snippet of Joseph and Alma's conversations here and there, no matter how small. This omission, I soon learned, is a foreshadowing of further omissions and disappointments that come upon later in the book.

Soon after Joseph is invited to move in with Alma as a housemate and companion, he meets her freeloading nephew, Eric, who quickly becomes the bane of Joseph’s existence. Eric is a lazy, unconscionable leech. A user, moocher and manipulator. Eric is the "anti-Joseph". Joseph is a good person, a "moral agent" (in philosophical terms), who thinks things through and acts rationally. Eric doesn’t work, doesn’t go to school and only cares about himself. Eric becomes the only source of friction, if not outright disagreement, between Joseph and Alma.

Joseph feels free and at home with Alma in her house, it's as if he has "come home". He has overcome a pedestrian and blue collar family life and upbringing that tried to dissuade him from living a life based on introspection and study, denying the very essence of what Joseph has made of his life. Eric threatens the stability and comfort that Joseph has finally found in Alma‘s home. It's surprising, to say the least, when Joseph's character suddenly begins to change. He becomes a selfish, self-centered, greedy, aggressive, reacting-without-thinking person whose morals either take a back seat or are reasoned away. All too quickly Joseph is completely different than the man we were rooting for to the point that we no longer recognize him. It would have been more believable had he used his faith in philosophy, hard work and thoughtfulness to take care of the "Eric problem" Not to mention that at this point in the book there is a huge drag as we're sucked into page after page of the first of several of Joseph's rants, rambling incoherently, paranoid and distrustful, trying to come to terms with his new found wealth provided by Alma

Without giving major parts of the story away, suffice it to say that the book fails from the moment of Joseph's bizarre and totally uncharacteristic way of taking care of the conflict with Eric. It really is a shame that the author felt the need to suddenly turn the book into some kind of pseudo thriller story as it becomes impossible to continue to "root" for Joseph once he has broken from who we were made to think he truly is. (I find myself tempted to compare Joseph's descent to Annikan Skywalker's conversion to the Dark Side of the Force.) If Mr. Kellerman thinks he is presenting some unique situation where we are at odds with ourselves, wanting to root for Joseph but unsure of whether or not to do so, he is mistaken. The shift in Joseph's character and actions themselves are too hard to swallow, too drastic to believe. At times it almost seems as if there are two Josephs, just as if it seems that two different people authored this book. Anyway, I can't help but wonder if it was Mr. Kellerman's intention that we continue to support Joseph, hoping he escapes from his self created debacle unscathed? I think it's safe to say that to entertain the notion we would still be rooting for him is completely out of the question.
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Why the author went down this road is a mystery to me. The Executor began with such promise. There are so many other ways Joseph could have gone about handling the situation he found himself in, so many ways that were more reasonable, more in tune with his character, that we are stuck like a broken record asking "why", time and again as Joseph goes from one inconsistency to the next in thought and action. Had Kellerman followed through with the book's initial premise and permitted Joseph to behave consistently with his character I believe it wouldn't have diminished the entertainment value of the book because the story's believability would have been maintained. The type of audience initially attracted to this book, would have thoroughly enjoyed reading along as Joseph solved, with intellect and cunning, a seemingly unsolvable quandary and didn’t resort to Hobbes-like violence.

I have not given up on Mr. Kellerman and will read some of his new or already written books with the hope that they present a unique premise with an equally unique resolution!

I received this book from the publisher, G.P. Putnam's Sons, for review.

Book Review, Orange is the New Black

Title & Author: Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau Publishing, April 2010
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Summary: A compelling, often hilarious, and unfailingly compassionate portrait of life inside a women’s prison

When Piper Kerman was sent to prison for a ten-year-old crime, she barely resembled the reckless young woman she’d been when, shortly after graduating Smith College, she’d committed the misdeeds that would eventually catch up with her. Happily ensconced in a New York City apartment, with a promising career and an attentive boyfriend, she was suddenly forced to reckon with the consequences of her very brief, very careless dalliance in the world of drug trafficking.
Kerman spent thirteen months in prison, eleven of them at the infamous federal correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut, where she met a surprising and varied community of women living under exceptional circumstances. In Orange Is the New Black, Kerman tells the story of those long months locked up in a place with its own codes of behavior and arbitrary hierarchies, where a practical joke is as common as an unprovoked fight, and where the uneasy relationship between prisoner and jailer is constantly and unpredictably recalibrated.

Revealing, moving, and enraging, Orange Is the New Black offers a unique perspective on the criminal justice system, the reasons we send so many people to prison, and what happens to them when they’re there

My Thoughts: A blue-eyed, blond-haired WASP graduate of a Seven Sisters college, Piper Kerman isn't the type of woman many people would expect to find among the convicted in federal prison. But like so many college graduates, Piper wasn't ready to return home and get a 9-5 desk job or enter a graduate program. Still not comfortable with her parents recent separation and yearning for adventure, Piper remained in her college town working as a waitress while living a carefree, unstructured existence. During this time she met Nora who paid a lot of attention to Piper. Nora was older and sophisticated with money to spend. Piper was intensely attracted to Nora's charm and tantalizing, free-spirit attitude. I understood, from her memoir, how Nora's kind of unfettered existence, where money is not an issue, was attractive to Piper. But I didn't really understand why a smart woman like Piper remained attached to Nora after learning that her lifestyle was funded by a drug-smuggling enterprise. Initially, Piper felt special because Nora confided the secret about her "job" to Piper. The excitement of Nora’s dark and risky behavior may have clouded Piper's good judgment at first. But I wish that Piper had written more about her relationship with Nora and further clarified why she still wanted to be around Nora knowing she was involved with drugs and why it took her so long to detach from Nora..

Four years later, Piper was living a normal life, sharing an apartment in NYC with her boyfriend and working as a free-lance producer. I cannot imagine how frightening it must have been to open her door to Federal Officers with the news that Piper had been indicted for drug-smuggling and money laundering. I 'm impressed that Piper managed to function after their visit. In fact, her composure throughout most of her ordeal is impressive. Piper cried many times but that she didn't come completely undone telling her family and friends about the charges or while waiting six years to be sentenced is amazing. Piper is a strong, resilient woman, characteristics that helped her immensely many times throughout her ordeal, such as when her fiancé dropped her off at the federal correctional institution where she was to serve her sentence or during run-ins with various guards at the correctional institution who were rude, unprofessional and lecherous. Piper's blond hair, blue eyes and white skin made her a frequent target of some of the more disreputable guards.

Piper Kerman is also intelligent, charming and armed with a good sense of humor, evident in her clear and honest writing. Prison is a big adjustment but the other prisoners help to make Piper as comfortable as possible, repeatedly reassure her and fill her in on prison rules and policies. Many of these women became Piper's good friends and they help each other pass the time. Piper hears why her friends are in prison and what their lives were like on the outside. Many of the women were involved in criminal activity to support their families. Several were arrested because of drug involvement which causes Piper to feel guilty, believing that her participation in a drug-smuggling ring contributed to her new friends' addictions. But the women don't blame her. Most of them are intent on making the best of their situation. Piper's funny, touching and sweet stories about these women make it clear why her days in prison were better than she expected them to be..

One of the most important things Piper learns from the other women is how to "do time", how to come to terms with her imprisonment and accept it, yet not allow herself to become too comfortable in prison. Daily life in prison can be all consuming as you try to live by the often arbitrary prison rules and policies as well as cope with prison politics among the prisoners. It's easy to forget the real world, therefore, it's important to remain ready to return to real life at any time. It's a difficult balance to manage but imperative. Piper's constant stream of visitors, letters, magazines and books kept her tethered to the outside world and aware of what was happening beyond the prison walls. But for prisoners with very long sentences, the balance was more difficult to maintain. Many of the friends Piper made had very long sentences and were great examples to her of how to "do time" well.

I enjoyed this memoir because Piper doesn't write only about her day-to-day existence in prison. She shares the things she learns about the prison system, the justice system, the laws and how she feels about the things she's learned after thinking about them. I appreciate her opinion and the different, richer perspective it provides on the issues. One such example is the fact that in the poorer neighborhoods, narcotics offer the best way to make money and support a family, particularly for single mothers. But even the smallest offense involving drugs can mean a lengthy prison sentence. Some sentences for minor involvement with drugs are longer than those for violent crimes! This sounds unfair when we read or hear about it, but when you see this unfairness actually occurring in the lives of your friends, it's obviously infuriating, which is one of the points Kerman makes with great effect. Much of what Piper learns during her thirteen month imprisonment sours her considerably on the justice system and our government's way of handling domestic issues. I wish Piper had written a little less about daily life in prison and more about what she learned and what she thinks about the justice system. Unfortunately she only touches on her views on the politics of prison, its rules and policies and the sentences handed out by the U.S. government for violations of the drug laws and individuals' involvement in the drug trade. Being a smart, well-read woman with a front row seat for 13 months, she could have provided much more in depth commentary. If we're lucky, there's another memoir in Piper's future!

Orange is the New Black is a humorous, touching and captivating memoir by a woman who made a terrible mistake in her early twenties and, as a result, serves time in prison, her head held high, ten years later. Piper Kerman has written an eye-opening story about what it's like day to day life in a federal correctional institution as well as the other women she met there who were also trying to make the best of a difficult, possibly unfair situation. But it's also a book about the resiliency of the human spirit and how to make the best of a bad situation.

I received this book as part of Goodreads first reads program.

Review of Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt

Title: Making Toast
Author: Roger Rosenblatt
Pages: 176
Release Date: February 16, 2010
Publisher: Ecco Publishing
Genre: Memoir

My Rating: 4.0 out of 5

Summary: When his daughter, Amy—gifted doctor, mother, and wife—collapses and dies from an asymptomatic heart condition, Roger Rosenblatt and his wife, Ginny, leave their home on the South Shore of Long Island to move in with their son-in-law, Harris, and their three young grandchildren: six-year-old Jessica, four-year-old Sammy, and one-year-old James, known as Bubbies. Long past the years of diapers, homework, and recitals, Roger and Ginny—Boppo and Mimi to the kids—quickly re-accustom themselves to the world of small children: bedtime stories, talking toys, play-dates, nonstop questions, and non-sequential thought. Though reeling from Amy's death they carry on, reconstructing a family, sustaining one another, and guiding three lively, alert, and tender-hearted children through the pains and confusions of grief. As he marvels at the strength of his son-in-law, a surgeon, and the tenacity and skill of his wife, a former kindergarten teacher, Roger attends each day to "the one household duty I have mastered"—preparing the morning toast perfectly to each child's liking.

With the wit, heart, precision, and depth of understanding that has characterized his work, Roger Rosenblatt peels back the layers on this most personal of losses to create both a tribute to his late daughter and a testament to familial love. The day Amy died, Harris told Ginny and Roger, "It's impossible." Roger's story tells how a family makes the possible of the impossible


My Thoughts: Roger Rosenblatt has written an inspiring story of love, grief, devotion, and sadness. Making Toast is about a family who comes together while figuring out how to make things work and continue functioning well after the death of the woman who was their daughter, wife, mother and sister. In addition to grieving Rosenblatt's memoir also reminds us of how even the smallest things we do have an impact on another person, be they a stranger, an acquaintance, a beloved family member or a dear friend.

I thought this was a wonderful book as Rosenblatt's writing makes getting to know his daughter Amy an enjoyable experience and something I didn't expect in a memoir about death and grief. He celebrates her life and the person she was by relaying numerous anecdotes and stories about Amy, the things she said and did and how she interacted with family members, her husband, children, friends, acquaintances and strangers. Rosenblatt's stories about Amy emphasize specific aspects of her personality that he felt were particularly unique to her and made her special. By the end of the book, I felt like I knew Amy, a beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving and witty woman with whom I would have liked to have been friends. Rosenblatt's stories about Amy's interaction with people throughout her life also made me realize how much our behavior can have an impact on every person we come in contact with. Our smallest word or just a smile can change someone's day. Not only did I become more cognizant of my behavior and attitude towards others but since I've read this book I'v tried to be careful to smile and greet other people, even strangers. It's actually made my days better!

I consider Rosenblatt's writing this memoir so soon after his daughter's death an amazing act of courage. Hopefully it was cathartic for him. It couldn't have been easy. Amy died December 2, 2007 and by June 2008 Rosenblatt is writing his memoir. At the same time he's grieving his daughter's death, he is living in his daughter's family's house, helping care for his grandchildren, Jessie, Sammy and James (Bubbie) and driving from Virginia to Long Island, New York once a week to teach. That sounds exhausting and could drive somebody nuts!

Rosenblatt frequently mentions that he's very angry but he never explodes. He finds the 5-hour drive to New York and back good for relieving tension, although he notes that road rage was a possibility in the weeks right after his daughter died. Rosenblatt is somewhat comforted, or at least relieved, by talking to many different people about grieving and the death of a family member or a child. But no one is perfect and shortly after Amy died, Rosenblatt was only able to control his anger so much. He uncharacteristically lost his temper with some students and other people and picked fights with store clerks.

Rosenblatt invites us in on some very poignant moments that clearly show how painful the loss of Amy is for everybody in the family. He shares how “Carl, John and I stood together on the deck in Bethesda the day after Amy died, and wept. Arms around one another, we formed a circle, like skydivers, our garments flapping in the wind.” describing a moment so raw it made me pause in my reading to wipe the copious tears from my eyes. Rosenblatt also writes in relation to Amy's husband, Harris, "As with us all, sorrow frames his every activity...." showing us that the family's pain and sadness is so pervasive it exists in everything they do. And in a very touching scene, Rosenblatt explains his feelings and his belief that Amy is always in the minds and hearts of him and his family when 5 year-old Sammy says he has no mom and Rosenblatt tells him "Mommy is still with us." "She's always with us, everywhere. We can't see her, but we can feel her spirit."



I found Rosenblatt's memoir to be extremely emotional. I cried, I laughed, I shuddered and more while reading about this family and how they continued on after losing Amy. I think it's an amzing book and a reminder, in one respect, that we have no idea what a person is dealing with when we encounter them in the course of our day. It seems like life and the activities of living should stop for a week or so when someone we love dearly and depend upon dies. But that doesn't happen. Life goes on and we are expected to move forward with it. It's not easy but we all try to manage to do so when it's our turn to face loss and grief. Thank you to Roger Rosenblatt for sharing yours and your family's experience and struggle with life after the death of your daughter and reminding us how human we all are.


I received an ARC of this book from the Publisher, Ecco through Shelf Awareness.

Book Review: Every Dog Has A Gift

Title: Every Dog Has A Gift
Author: Rachel McPherson
ISBN: 978-1-58542-795-6
Pages: 288
Release Date: February 2, 2010
Publisher: Penguin Publishing
Genre: Dogs/Inspiration Non-Fiction
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Summary: Anyone who has ever had a relationship with a dog will tell you: They want nothing more than to give love and be loved in return. In Every Dog Has a Gift, Rachel McPherson draws on her experience as the founder and executive director of The Good Dog Foundation, the largest animal-assisted therapy organization on the East Coast, to share the amazing stories of dogs that bring hope and healing into our lives.

Much has been said about the heroic roles dogs played following September 11th and Hurricane Katrina in providing support and comfort for the families and victims of these terrible tragedies, but the truth is that millions of dogs around the world are heroes every day. These therapy and service dogs (and often quite ordinary, "uncertified" dogs just like your own!) can:

*serve as the perfect audience for kids who need help with practicing and improving their reading skills;
*hold troubled families together;
*provide a calm and centering presence for autistic children, and
*help individuals who have lost the ability to walk to more easily navigate the world.

Every Dog Has a Gift is a celebration of the gift that each and every dog possesses: the ability to bring the healing power of unconditional love into our lives.

My Thoughts: Every Dog Has A Gift is filled with heart-warming, and some heart-breaking , stories that clearly illustrate Rachel McPherson's belief "...that all dogs inherently have the power to heal; and they all want to give love and to be loved in return...". The stories included in this book show the wonderful impact dogs have on the lives of people, particularly those who are ill, disabled, withdrawn, depressed, lonely and sad. In this book, dogs are more than just a cute animal to pat on the head. Their ability to heal and comfort people is clearly evident. I grew up with dogs and know that, not only do they adore attention and want to be loved but they really want to give love. Many dogs respond to people's moods and show a remarkable ability to lift someone up when they're down and make people feel loved. Anybody who has loved a dog and experienced their companionship will love the stories in this book and many will see their dogs in a new and different light.

Rachel McPherson impresses me as an ambitious, dynamic and very caring person. She had her own company and a fulfilling career as a film and television producer before she researching dogs and their ability to assist in therapy. Her research was initially for a documentary but, through her research McPherson discovered that dogs weren't allowed in hospitals in New York. Her love of dogs and her belief "that each and every dog is a therapy dog", and has the ability to heal and comfort people compelled McPherson to start The Good Dog Foundation dedicated to dog-assisted therapy. She also worked to get the law changed in New York to the benefit of so many people in hospitals and other institutions. Today, the Good Dog Foundation is responsible for thousands upon thousands of visits every day by dogs to people in health care, social services, schools and all sorts of community organizations not only in New York but in CT, NJ and MA. Good Dogs was also asked to assist victims of Hurricane Katrina after the wonderful work they did at Ground Zero after 9/11.

One of my favorite stories in this book is about Sunny, a border-collie mix rescued as a puppy during Hurricane Katrina. Sunny wasn't been properly socialized and therefore, was an extremely frightened dog. Debbie Jacobs, a volunteer with the Human Society in VT, assisted with the rescue and placement of animal victims of Hurricane Katrina. She brought Sunny to VT planning to foster him until he was able to be placed in a permanent home. But poor Sunny was petrified and required an enormous amount of TLC and intense care. Jacobs story about caring for Sunny, learning how to take care of and heal, as much as possible, a terrified dog is amazing. But the really remarkable part of this story is how much Jacobs says she's been rewarded by caring for Sunny and how much Sunny has taught her about life. Knowing that their are people like Jacobs in this world who will provide a safe, secure and loving home for a beautiful dog like Sunny and considers herself fortunate to have Sunny in her life is just wonderful.

The story of Jessica, a three-legged Shetland sheepdog-collie mix, adopted by Toni, is one I will never forget. Jessica has 3-legs due to a birth defect, but was extremely timid because of the life she'd lived and needed to be socialized. One day, on one of their many walks, Jessica and Toni met Jeanette and her 9-year old son, Bobbie, who was in a wheelchair and had one leg due to an automobile accident. Jessica, who was very shy around strangers, stood right next to Bobbie's wheelchair and let him pet her. Toni's story tells about the relationship that grew between Bobbie and Jessica and how with the comfort, support and closeness of Jessica, Bobbie's depression lifted and he became an active participant in his life.

Every Dog Has A Gift is comprised of inspirational stories grouped into 3 categories about dogs as healers and teachers, dogs that changed lives or dogs in the lives of children. The stories would make a terrific book on their own. But McPherson goes a step farther. Part of this book is also a "How-to" manual. The end of every section includes a chapter about getting involved with dogs like those in the previous stories. Information about service dogs and the different types of programs available is provided as well as a list of resources for the different service dogs and the programs. There is a section on special needs dogs, and how and where to adopt a dog with special needs. McPherson also includes information for families about how to choose the right dog for your family and a list of resources to help them. The final section in the book is all about becoming a therapy team with your dog.

I entered a drawing sponsored by Penguin to win an ARC of Every Dog Has A Gift and I am thrilled that I was one of the winners. This is a wonderful book filled with stories I know I will read again and again. And now I want a dog. Sorry kitty-cats!

Aaaccckkk!

My head is spinning right now and I veer between maniacal laughter and hot, cascading tears. After many days of leaving messages at several different phone numbers, I finally received a call back from social services. It was another fast lesson in how to feel like less than a human being who matters. I won’t even go into detail over the attitude I got after asking a few questions! I asked specifically about a program written up on NYC.gov regarding a Rental Arrears Grant for individuals in the legal possession of an apartment who may or may not be on public assistance. Unfortunately I cannot find anybody who knows anything about this program. Every city employee I talk to calls it the "one-shot deal". Supposedly, because I receive social security disability every month, if I am given the money to help pay my back rent through the one-shot deal program, I will have to pay it back in a year! The social services employee I was speaking to told me to find a less expensive apartment. It’s not like I am living in luxury right now. I need an apartment on the first floor or with an elevator and no steps up to the building entrance. That’s not easy to come by in this city. When I asked her where and how to find this apartment, since I only pay $1,000 rent as it is, she told me she doesn't have any information for me. I said the least expensive apartment I saw listed was $800 and it was on the third floor without an elevator. Her reply was, “But you'd have $200 to live on!” Hello?! That won't pay for my monthly prescriptions, never mind food. And I cannot walk 3 flights of stairs every day or every other day....

I said this is ridiculous and humiliating. She said, “You have to find a family member or third-party to help you or get a roommate“. Ti, from Book Chatter, had this great idea and kindly suggested it. I wish I could but my apartment is a studio and the one room really isn't large enough to divide into 2. I said so my only option is to be dependant on someone else? Like I already said, this is humiliating and extremely demeaning. This phone was not a great way to start the day! I have to remind myself that I didn't cause my health problems although it certainly feels that way many days.
I am looking at different jobs and thanks to some of you, such as Willoughby and The Bumbles, I have some good ideas. But finding a job takes time which I don't have a lot of. I am really afraid I am going to end up on the street without a place to live. My life has been a struggle for most of the years I've been a live and I'm beginning to wonder if that will ever change. Some of the problem now, too, is that I don't really believe in myself anymore and I need that confidence. I need to believe I have the right to a good life. It's difficult when you're constantly battling for self-worth. But it ticks me off that I feel embarrassed and wrong to be looking for help, especially since I just need the help until I can get regular work. And I'm not going to be able to get that work if I don't have somewhere to live. Ugh!

I want to thank all of you who left kind words and/or great advice for me a couple of weeks ago when I wrote about what was going on in my life. I meant to reply to all of you and I will I just have so much going on in my end and so many phone calls and emails and research I feel I have to do but I’m also just trying to get through the days which isn’t always easy. Please know how much I appreciate your friendship. I know prior to now my blog was primarily about books and cats but now it’s going to be about my life, too. I realize I will probably lose some readers because of that which I am truly sorry about. But I think it’s important that people know how difficult life can be for disabled people in situations similar to my own and how little this great country of ours cares. If I can help to get the word out by posting my story here, I will.

Book Review: Eternal on the Water

Title: Eternal on the Water
Author: Joseph Monninger
ISBN: 978-1-4391-6833-2
Pages: 368
Release Date: February 16, 2010
Publisher: Pocket Books
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
Rating: 4.0 out of 5
Beautifully written, emotionally-charged, character driven story about love and life and the power of the human spirit to accept what will be and joyfully celebrate what you have. You won't want to put it down.

Publisher: From the day Jonathan Cobb and Mary Fury meet on the banks of Maine’s Allagash River, they approach life with the same adventurous spirit with which they conquer the river’s treacherous rapids. But rivers do not let go so easily. And so for them, the life they love demands equally that they confront the most difficult of choices, and they vow, when time and illness necessitate, to return to the river together so that Mary can make one final journey. Set against the rugged wilderness of Maine, the exotic islands of Indonesia, the sweeping panoramas of Yellowstone National Park, and the tranquil villages of rural New England, Eternal on The Water is at once heartbreaking and uplifting—a timeless, beautifully rendered story of true love’s power.


My Thoughts: Eternal on the Water is the story of two people falling in love after meeting unexpectedly on the bank of the Allagash River the evening before they planned to kayak down the river. There is a connection, a bond between Jonathan Cobb and Mary Fury the moment they meet which they cannot ignore. So strong is their connection that a couple they have dinner with a day later thinks they have been together for years. But this is more than a love story. It is a story about truth and consequences, about freedom and beliefs, about commitment, loyalty and beauty.

A short time after they meet, Mary tells Cobb (she calls Jonathan Cobb by his last name) a startling secret and one that would make some men run as fast as their legs can carry them. Cobb asks some questions for clarification and to settle his thoughts and emotions. He also agrees to some of Mary's long-term difficult and painful but necessary (for her), plans. But he stays right by her side. He couldn't walk away from Mary even if he wanted to because now that he's met her he cannot imagine his life without her. Mary's secret troubles Cobb because of it's possible impact on their future. Cobb, like Mary, decides to make the best of everyday they have together.

The characters make this story. Cobb serves as the narrator. We learn quite a bit about Mary and Cobb's life with Mary but as much about Cobb. Mary and Cobb are kind, loving, like-able people. Mary has always loved the outdoors and nature. She grew up to become a scientist and a teacher with nature as her laboratory and corvids her life blood. She's been fascinated by them, and crows in particular, since she was young. She studies corvids and researches their life and world. Mary is honest and charming with a quirky sense of humor. Her enthusiasm for life and her active imagination make every day a new adventure with her. Her love for Cobb is clear as is his love for her. It's as if their life started anew the day they met.

Cobb, a teacher at a prep school is more reserved than Mary with a tendency to sit-back, watch and observe. When they first meet, Cobb is on sabbatical from school and is researching and following Thoreau's trip down the Allagash and his travels in Maine.
Cobb shares Mary's love of the outdoors and the simple life beckons both. Over the course of the novel, they teach each other life-long lessons as well as little things about each other, other people and the world.

Nature is more than a backdrop in this story, it serves as a major character. Mary and Cobb spend more time outdoors than in enjoying it's bounty. The great outdoors is beautiful, honest and open, without pretension or airs. It teaches Cobb and Mary about life and shows them how to cope during the difficult times, how to ride out the pain and how to celebrate the joy and beauty of their life. The Allagash River, where Mary and Cobb meet, is their favorite body of water. It exemplifies the ups and downs of their life together, the joys and sorrows, the struggles they encounter as well as the many happy days they have together. Mary and Cobb set up their home in the heart of quaint New England and marvel at the passing of the seasons. They travel to the beaches of Indonesia and strengthen their bond in the warmth of the sun's rays and the calm, sparkling, blue water. They spend many days enjoying the rugged beauty of Yellowstone National Park while Mary studies the crows and they learn about wolves. And the rugged beauty of Maine, their second home, is part of them. It was there in the beginning and will be their in the end.

Joseph Monninger has written a beautiful story that still swirls in and out of my thoughts more than 10 days after I finished reading it. This book begins with the ending to the story which I found a little disconcerting, at first, but the positive, jubilant bend of the tale draws you in, only occasionally reminding you of the coming ending. Eternal on the Water is filled with symbolism that enhances Mary and Cobb's story. There are several mythological tales and folklore which underscores the lessons this story offers the readers. I think for those of us interested in hearing it, this story teaches us about life and love and how to live joyfully. I expect parts of this story will be with me forever. Eternal on the Water is a touching, compassionate love story and a captivating story about living and enjoying a life of simplicity and beauty.

I received this book as part of Barnes & Nobles First Look Program and found it a fantastic experience.

Book Review: Talking to the Dead

Title: Talking to the Dead
Author: Helen Dunmore
ISBN: 978-0-316-19645-1
Pages: 304
Release Date: 2006
Publisher: Little Brown & Company
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
Rating: 4.0 out of 5


Publisher's Summary: Long-buried secrets and resentments bubble lazily to the surface over a few short weeks when Nina, a London photographer and artist, goes to the English countryside to help her outwardly perfect older sister Isabel, who has just suffered through a difficult birth. Though the household--Isabel's husband Richard, friend Edward, baby Antony, and a local nanny--seems hermetically sealed against the world, past and present rear up to strike the sisters. "This house is stiff with things that can't be said," observes Nina. Stifling heat, menace, and memories radiate from these pages, keeping the reader on edge. Helen Dunmore, winner of the Orange Prize, heightens sometimes overly obvious drama with rich, sensual prose.


My thoughts: Helen Dunmore has written a riveting story about two sisters and the ties that bond them as well as drive them apart. Isabel and Nina were very close growing up, maybe too close. They know each other better than they know themselves. A painful tragedy in their childhood caused both of them, but especially Nina, to push the past away, choosing to forget much of it. But the difficult delivery and birth of Isabel's first child and the memories that come back to Nina while she is staying under Isabel's roof, bring the past back resulting in unintended and surprising consequences for everyone. Talking to the Dead is a tale of love, loyalty, manipulation, fear, anger and betrayal will stay with you long after you finish reading the book.

Nina is anxious to visit and help Isabel out after the difficult birth of her first child, Antony. When Nina arrives at the house, there is the expected tension between she and Richard, Isabel's husband, but Nina also senses an odd attraction that confuses and troubles her. Nina has always considered Isabel superior to herself, smarter, more sophisticated and more talented. She craves Isabel's approval as she always has and desperately wants to please her. This renders Nina awkward and uncomfortable around Isabel, unsure of how Isabel will receive her and if she will be able to please Isabel. Isabel, at first, is sweet and kind, very happy to have Nina staying with her. But it isn't long before Isabel turns selfish and manipulative. She enjoys controlling every aspect of Nina from her thoughts to her actions to what she says. Isabel appears not only aware of Nina's predilection but she capitalizes on it and manipulates her for her own enjoyment.

Nina begins having vivid memories and dreams of her childhood in her parents house shortly after she arrives at Isabel's home. We see the relationship between Nina and Isabel when they were little girls and are privy to events of their childhood through Nina's dreams and memories. As the days and weeks go by and Nina struggles to bond once again with Isabel, she remembers more about her childhood. She recalls her artist parents, more focused on their work than on their children. Isabel and Nina turned to each other for love, comfort and care, as a result. Isabel, the older sister, took on more of a parenting, nurturing role for Nina who worshipped Isabel's every word and deed. Nina was extremely loyal to Isabel and trusted her completely. As a child, Nina believed there was nothing Isabel couldn't do to the point of magical acts that transcend reality. Isabel counted on this loyalty and worship and learned hot to control and manipulate Nina to get it. But the delicate balance in the household is threatened by the birth of Isabel and Nina's little brother, Colin. The girls are shocked to see their mother become the doting parent she's never been for them. While Nina is confused and doesn't understand what's happening, Isabel is perfectly aware of what her mother is doing and doesn't like what she's seeing at all.

Isabel's new baby, Antony reminds Nina of her little brother, Colin, and stirs up these painful, long forgotten memories. As an adult, Nina understands more about Isabel's behavior and her parents. Nina also trusts her memories and her knowledge more now than she did as a child. One night Nina recalls the terrible tragedy that befell the family when she was still a little girl. Her memory of the incident shocks her and she tries to talk to Isabel about it. Isabel disagrees with Nina and remembers things differently, forcing her version of events on Nina. But Nina isn't the same little girl who worshipped everything Isabel said and did. Mixed in with her love and adoration of Isabel there is anger and jealousy.

Nina's feelings for Isabel start to change. She is suddenly confused and troubled by her older sister. What she once thought of as love and caring she now reluctantly sees more as manipulation and a selfishness on Isabel's part. Feelings of anger and jealousy towards Isabel crop up as more memories, thoughts and feelings buried deep inside Nina bubbling to the surface. She is angry one minute, scared and fearful the next. Nina lashes out at Isabel in her anger and painfully betrays Isabel in ways that can never be taken back.

This book is full of tension and raw emotion from the start. The characters, particularly Nina, Richard and Isabel are real and very flawed. I found Isabel particularly difficult to like. She comes off as extremely selfish and manipulative rather than appreciative of the people around her, all more than willing to do whatever will make her feel comfortable and allow her to rest. As the story progresses, some light is shed on Isabel's behavior. Unfortunately, those around her who should love her and care for her are always too wrapped up in themselves to see what Isabel needs and give it to her.

I liked Nina for the most part and I felt badly for her. But when she betrays Isabel I saw a very different Nina and one I'm not sure I like very much! Although I understood why she wanted to hurt Isabel, I find it hard to excuse what she did. But the emotions and behavior started long ago in the sister's childhood. Richard and the nanny, Susan, can't completely understand the dynamics between Nina and Isabel because they weren't there all of those years ago. Poor Richard. He's such a successful businessman but at home he cannot seem to make his wife happy. He just wants her to be happy and comfortable and he wants to be loved. Like so many men, he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand why the women are behaving as they are or what it means.

This is a beautifully written book about how the past is never really forgotten. Things that happen when you're young can have a huge impact when you are an adult. This is not a happy story, not even with the birth of the baby. It's a very painful, sad and surprising story. It's a story about flawed human beings who are too wrapped up in themselves to really understand what the people they love are trying to tell them. But it is a very real, very human story. Relationships are difficult and wonderful and troubling. Love can make people do things they would never imagine themselves capable of until something happens and it's too late to change it.

Helen Dunmore's writing is beautiful. Her use of language and the imagery contrast sharply with the emotion expressed throughout the novel. Here are a few passages I thought were wonderful:

"I'm under the fig tree, with it's big leaves all round me like hands to keep off the sun. There are plenty of figs this year, and for once they're going to ripen. Their warm, spicy smell fills the shade where I sit. It's half-past two and the sky's white with heat. In this weather you sit out the glare, waiting for the long light of evening."

"Slowly, slowly, I push open the door of Susan's room. I make no sound. The pale curtains are drawn, and the room smells of the new pine furniture, and baby sleep. He is rosy with the heat, his hair damp, his fist up to his face. He is sleeping on his side, and Isabel has put a rolled up towel beside him so he can't turn onto his face. I creep right up to the cot. His weight dents the mattress. He looks more solid than I've ever seen him. Already he's changing, filling out, and that fist by his face looks strangely mature."

"He was a handsome man, our father, and five years younger than my mother. He was fair, with the same eyes as Isabel, the same golden skin, which was creased by the time I knew him. By some reckonings my mother was lucky to get him. He drew people round him, because he was funny, because he had a way of making you feel that you were something new and delightful he'd just discovered, and above all because there was something lost and pained in him which people felt without knowing quite what it was. He seemed to need you. My mother didn't seem to need anybody much."

Helen Dunmore won England's Orange Prize for Fiction in 1996 for Talking to the Dead, the year's best novel by a woman writer. this is the first of Helen Dunmore's books that I've read but it won't be my last!